Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Pages 3 and 4

Again I apologise for the angle of some of the images. Not sure what is happening with blogger lately and I am sounding like a broken record.

Below are the next couple of pages in my diet diary as well as some other pendants that I made the other day and forgot to load them here.

Here I am thinking I am living a good life but not realising there is more to it than my little patch of grass.

On the walls I have typed the things and emotions that have kept me in hiding.

This is memories that stand out the most and helped to destroy my self esteem. It was kind of like "well if family members are saying this and the school kids are doing this then what is the point in trying because this is obviously who I am." Well it's not!

Ah yes the classic from my father: the see food eater. He thought it was a joke but it was the way he introduced me to everyone. He even gave me a plaque with it on. I was 14 then and looking quite good. I told him off and said it was not funny. He hasn't said it since but it still stays with me.

Oh my goodness, I still remember the day and the TV add so clearly. This is a nickname I kept secret since I have moved to WA when I was 13. Moving was like a fresh start and the fat jokes stopped but that was probably because I stopped eating breakfast and lunch and only ate dinner. No I never became anorexic, in fact I maintained a size 14. Hence the deterioration of my metabolism and therefore fat storing. I have been told that my body has been in starvation mode for years.
No more. I am trying really hard right now to lose the weight and I know I will eventually be successful.


1 comment:

Lady Astrid said...

Oh gosh. Reading all this really does make me feel crap about not keeping in touch with you after you moved. School kids and family can be just horrid. Whilst I was not technically over weight, I was more solidly built than the other girls, they had twig legs and I had solid muscle. Some of the boys were not the nicest about it all and my wonderful step brother used to call me Grunter all due to me having curves. He even wrote the name on my school stuff, like my ruler so the whole world could see that I was "grunter".

Big hugs sweetie