Pressie's in the mail

I received my colour swap gift in the mail today. It was lovely. I got some really nice oriental paper, some buttons, some felt lettering, some face cream and two little fishes dangling on and oriental designed cord. I love it. It means I have no excuse anymore for not doing my Korean album. Thank you to my secret FSC3 pal I love it all.

I also received another parcel of fabric that I had bought so it was a nice double mail drop. I promised Ruth that I would start back into some quilting so I went and purchased some gorgeous Thai cotton. The photo's really don't show the sheen of the fabric much but they are still stunning.

Always a Reason

I hate being overweight. Why?! Well the obvious reason is that I want to look good. I also want to be healthy and right now my health is really frustrating me. In the last year I have:

1. been diagnosed with major depression (now on really good drugs so that really helps),
2. been diagnosed with a low thyroid (which can also explain the depression)
3. been exhausted to the point of sleeping every spare second of my time (even in the toilet at work if I couldn't focus on the computer) and now have a cpap machine which I am still trying to get used to.
4. had my jaw ache so much due to clenching it in my sleep that I needed a mouth guard which made my teeth really sensitive and can't wear with the cpap anyway
5. had an extremely itchy rash on by boobs and belly which could not be explained and went away after 5 months
6. have contracted whooping cough over the last month (apparently it is becoming more common in adults even if you were immunised as a kid)
7. and last but not least I KNOW WHY I PUT THE WEIGHT ON last week. I was rubbing my shin today and left a dent in the skin. My mother who is a nurse immediately said that it looks like I have water retention (oedema). On the bad side it's - great one more thing to worry about; and on the good side it's - well I know why I put weight on last week then.

I just want to be healthy and stop getting the weirdest ailments. I want to be able to exercise without coughing up a storm, I want to be able to run around and enjoy my life as skinny woman.

Quite often you hear the saying "in every fat woman there is a skinny woman trying to get out." I saw a variation of that a month or so back which I like:

In every skinny woman there is a fat person trying to get in.

So that is my gripe for the day.

ON A GOOD NOTE:

I went to a demonstration of some fantastic paint mediums that can be used on almost anything from pottery to paper to fabric. You need to go take a look at Vivian's Blog as it shows what you can do with this stuff. It can be soft and subtle so that if you paint over patterned paper you can still see the pattern; or your can make it thick and blobby to add texture. She uses so much stuff like gauze and chicken wire etc. She is actually now on the design team for the product which is called Luninart. If you go there it will tell you more about the product and you can see what others are doing with it. I personally can not wait to have a play however I have so many other things I have to get done first that it is on hold. It's going to be sooooooooo much fun though. :)

An Aussie Afternoon

This afternoon we went to a friends place to see her native animals. J & D own a stock feed store not too far from us. It is on a huge property. J looks after injured native animals. Mum took along one of her friends whose parents are out here from China. The parents can't speak a word of English but really enjoyed themselves.

Blue kangaroo.

Wallaby

Wallaby

Red Kangaroo having a lovely scratch. Talk about great ab strength.

A red kangaroo and a grey kangaroo. The grey is called Delta and she likes to give hugs if you scratch her under the chin.

Two reds

Not sure what this kangaroo is but he was a real poser.

This is while he was eating and the next photo is just after he tried to eat the camera

A baby wallaby that is being hand reared.

This Sulphur Crested Cockatoo was a real attention seeker. If our attention went to one of the other animals he would thrash about upside down on a branch trying to get us to look. As soon as we looked at him he would quiet down, stand still and say "hello!"

He was the biggest poser for photos. He preferred to be on someones arm or shoulder and he was put in a tree he would break branches off it (including lemons).

A Male Scrapbooking

You will not believe what I saw tonight. I went out to dinner at a friends place and their 20 year old daughter showed me a gift her boyfriend had made for her. It was a scrapbook photo album. Not one female in his family helped him. It was brilliant. It book my 3rd album to shame let alone my first. His layouts were perfect in design features and he had ideas that I would never have thought of doing (but will now). Apparently his dad gave him heaps while he was making it. I wish I had some photos to show you but I don't.

BAD Day

I weighed myself again this morning in hopes that something had dropped off. I had put on 1.5kg overnight. Not happy. In fact it is very disappointing. I had an appointment with the Dr this afternoon about other things and she told me that it will take a long time for my body to start thinking of shaving the fat because it has been there for so long and I am most likely genetically predispositioned to be chunkier. Still not happy!

So if any of you have been watching the Aussie version of the Biggest Loser you will understand when I say that I did a Cosi today. The day they show Cosi going on a food bender is the day I think stuff it and had myself a small McDonald's Cheeseburger and choc mint sundae. For the first time in the whole show I actually sympathise with the guy (he is a right pain in the neck though).

I felt guilty because I knew it was wrong and that I am my own worst enemy and also because I enjoyed it. Man alive those endorphins that race through you when you have take away food.

To make me feel doubly guilty I get home and find a nice message on my blog from someone who has never contacted me before telling me to stick with it as I am an inspiration to the Internet community. The good thing though is it gave me a good kick in the butt and I hope to get back on track tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Thanks Nicole for your kind encouraging words. I hope you do well at weight watchers.