Always a Reason

I hate being overweight. Why?! Well the obvious reason is that I want to look good. I also want to be healthy and right now my health is really frustrating me. In the last year I have:

1. been diagnosed with major depression (now on really good drugs so that really helps),
2. been diagnosed with a low thyroid (which can also explain the depression)
3. been exhausted to the point of sleeping every spare second of my time (even in the toilet at work if I couldn't focus on the computer) and now have a cpap machine which I am still trying to get used to.
4. had my jaw ache so much due to clenching it in my sleep that I needed a mouth guard which made my teeth really sensitive and can't wear with the cpap anyway
5. had an extremely itchy rash on by boobs and belly which could not be explained and went away after 5 months
6. have contracted whooping cough over the last month (apparently it is becoming more common in adults even if you were immunised as a kid)
7. and last but not least I KNOW WHY I PUT THE WEIGHT ON last week. I was rubbing my shin today and left a dent in the skin. My mother who is a nurse immediately said that it looks like I have water retention (oedema). On the bad side it's - great one more thing to worry about; and on the good side it's - well I know why I put weight on last week then.

I just want to be healthy and stop getting the weirdest ailments. I want to be able to exercise without coughing up a storm, I want to be able to run around and enjoy my life as skinny woman.

Quite often you hear the saying "in every fat woman there is a skinny woman trying to get out." I saw a variation of that a month or so back which I like:

In every skinny woman there is a fat person trying to get in.

So that is my gripe for the day.

ON A GOOD NOTE:

I went to a demonstration of some fantastic paint mediums that can be used on almost anything from pottery to paper to fabric. You need to go take a look at Vivian's Blog as it shows what you can do with this stuff. It can be soft and subtle so that if you paint over patterned paper you can still see the pattern; or your can make it thick and blobby to add texture. She uses so much stuff like gauze and chicken wire etc. She is actually now on the design team for the product which is called Luninart. If you go there it will tell you more about the product and you can see what others are doing with it. I personally can not wait to have a play however I have so many other things I have to get done first that it is on hold. It's going to be sooooooooo much fun though. :)