Thursday, 23 August 2007

The Wardrobe

I am not much of a fashion person. In fact I hate shopping for clothes. This is mainly because I am 5ft tall and weigh twice the weight that I should weigh. Firstly if you are 5 ft there are no clothes your length: tops are too long in the neck and pants (even short size) have to be taken up a couple of inches. I also have the problem of being very well endowed in the chest area and tops just aren't made for those who have the same problem as me. Therefore I have to find shirts that are big and baggy (comfortable) and look like I need to be pitched somewhere for camping.

The majority of women are an average size Aussie 14. Obviously I am more than this however I am pointing out that the average woman is not stick thin. The thing I have noticed the most when I go into a department store is how the clothes are set out. They tend to go in stages:
  1. funky late teen early 20's style clothes (the ones the skinny me trapped inside would love to wear. Their style is bold and sexy and immediately says look at me aren't I pretty.
  2. this next are is for the more mature woman and by that I mean late 20's into their 30's. These styles aren't so bold but they are classically cut, have beautiful drapes and folds, you know the clothes I mean
  3. Next to this is evening wear. Swishy full skirts or figure hugging fabrics that leave nothing to the imagination.
  4. further into the store is the lingerie. Skimpy little lacy things that would barely wrap around my chihuahua.
  5. As you get passed the skimpy lingerer, hidden in the back you will find the lingerie for my size. They are the sort of thing my grandmother would wear. Nothing sexy but at least it holds up the boulders. If ever the need arose I am sure I could use mine as a parachute.
  6. From here you are into the larger sizes and by this time you are also way up the back of the store where hardly anyone goes. The outfits are just as daggy as lingerie and then suddenly you find something nice. Your surprise turns to disappointment when you realise it belongs in maternity wear and someone had just dumped it. So by the damn thing you say. Yes I could however it is a psychological thing. I fat, not pregnant. People would know!

Anyway as you can see fat people tend to be shoved to the back in the hopes they aren't noticed. What gets me is that the designers choose bold busy colours and styles that make us look even fatter and then they add an extra $20 to it because there is an extra half metre of material.

This was not meant to be a lecture on the woes of fat short people. I am in fact happy to say that despite the MY SIZE stores that have popped up (still with clothes that make me look twice as wide as I am height) I have found a store where the girls are lovely. At first glance the clothing looks like it is for older ladies but when you tell the assistants what you are looking for they pull out all these wonderful looking tops and pants. Yes everything is over $100 but it is worth it when I don't spend much on clothes to begin with. The place is called the wardrobe and their website is:

For the first time in years I actually had to make a choice between what I wanted rather than half heartedly purchase something I wasn't all that keen on.

I will be wearing the outfit to a cocktail party on Saturday night for work. I may be fat but watch out world. Fat can be STUNNING!!!!

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