Friday, 9 October 2015

Drastic Measures

Those of you who know me, know how much I struggle with my weight.  I've tried programs and doing it on my own.  I only get so far and then the weight loss stops.  After a while you just give up and think what the heck!

I have been successful this year in losing close to 10kg with the help of a program that gets you moving again.  The class was once a week but I made sure I was doing lots of walking.  All was going well until things unraveled.  Slim people call them excuses, but I would like to see them carry on in such pain.

First to go was my shoulder.  I have always had issues with my left shoulder from as long as I can remember.  Apparently I have a bursa and it is bad enough to be operated on but for some reason I still have full motion, as long as I am not exercising.

Second to go was my right knee.  Again an old ongoing issue that only comes up when I am exercising.

Third to go were my orthotics.  This is no surprise considering I have had them for 10 years.  For two weeks I was unable to walk long distances until the new ones came in.  This was enough to set me back almost to where I was at the beginning of the year prior to my classes.  The new orthotics then caused blisters under my feet and so on and so forth.  It took a good 2 months to get them sorted.

Final thing to go ... even with the orthotic issue I forced myself to walk even though it was painful.  With all this walking going on my muscles were getting tighter and tighter to the point where my muscles around my hips are so tight I have to go to physio and specialised pilates classes to help me relax them.  Despite my weight I am quite flexible and find it very difficult to stretch my muscles.  These muscles now cause a lot of back, hip and leg ache.  I was told not to walk up hill or up stairs (unavoidable unfortunately).

The weight loss struggle has come full circle again.  I have to exercise to lose weight.  There is no other way around it.  I already don't each much (and no I am not in denial on that).  Therefore with all of the above and a nagging mother (who I love very much but can only handle so much nagging from), I have decided to get a stomach sleeve done.  Do I think I am insane?  Yes.  This is my last change though.  If this doesn't work I will probably say stuff the lot and eat what I want.  At least I will die young and enjoying myself.

My operation is in a weeks time.  I am currently on the pre op diet.  Thankfully it is what I was doing while I was exercising, which is the Optifast Diet (the first one).  Optifast comes in bars, soups, shakes, and desserts.  I get one product for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner with some vegetables.  When I did this before I didn't feel so hungry but I do now.  I think it is because I know that it may be a couple of months after the op that I can enjoy solid food again.

This is day 3. Tomorrow the weekend starts so I have two days where I could give in and have a nice cheese toastie, though I probably won't.  We were shouted pizza at lunch by our manager today and despite everyone deciding my desk was the one to sit around, chat and eat pizza, I maintained my willpower and had chicken soup.

Photos are one thing I hate the most about myself but I figured I needed a before shot.  Here is my mug shot.  Please do not copy it and use it in vain.

1 comment:

Joanne Huffman said...

Good luck to you. It's a hard decision and reflects your resolve to do something healthy for yourself. I'm elderly (67) obese and arthritic and wish I had resolved to lose weight when I was much younger. Sending positive thoughts across the world to you.