I woke up this morning (early thanks to the dog), got ready for work, as I usually do on a week day. I was reminding myself that it is only 2 more days and then the weekend (this, after having the day off yesterday for Australia Day). It suddenly struck me as I walked out the door that I am a year older today.
I don't know what it is about birthdays, but I have always thought that it is your special day. The one day of the year where you can get a little bit of attention, where people do something special for you. Not sure how I grew up thinking that way, considering my mum tended to think I was too old for birthday's once I got into double digits. I just always like to make it special for the person whose birthday it is, so just once I would really like someone to do something special for me. I like surprises people!! A bunch of flowers delivered to work, a surprise party, anything as long as I don't have to plan it.
Alas though, I am the one always organising my birthday. I organised my sweet 16th, nothing happened on my 18th because I was preparing for Uni; nothing happened on my 21st because I was in South Korea (and to them I was turning 22); my 30th was organised by me and though I had fun, I was too busy making sure things ran smoothly to fully enjoy it.
Here I am turning 38, once again trying to organise something. I don't know why I just don't give up. I have friends with too many different interests, so it doesn't matter what I decide to do, there will always be someone who complains. On top of that my birthday is at that difficult time of year ... a public holiday, as well as the fact that a good percentage of people seem to be born late January as well. This means I have to compete with peoples siblings etc, in order to have my friends around for my birthday, so consequently my birthday celebrations end up in February (which probably explains why I forgot it myself this morning).
Life has taught me never to expect anything, or get excited about anything, that way I won't be disappointed. When I travel, I have no expectations and therefore nothing disappoints me. People can't understand why I am not excited about things. Oprah, is a good example. I was excited when I found out that I had won the seats, but leading up to the show and the trip, I wasn't excited. Corinne was dumbfounded as she could barely sit still. I don't know why I am like this, I just am. However when it comes to my birthday I keep thinking ... maybe this year something special will happen ... and then the day comes and goes and nothing happens. Did I mention I am planning my 40th now. Yes, yet again, I am planning it. If there are any volunteers out there who would like to plan this for me, be my guest, I want to go away for a weekend with my friends somewhere. I'm thinking Bali or Margaret River.
So this is just a normal week day in which I am at work. I will probably get home tonight and my mother forget until halfway through the evening. I am now going online to look for some birthday flowers to send to myself. Am I sulking in self pity, damn right I am! It's my birthday and I am entitled to it! LOL. Ok sulk over now, better get back to work.